I was interviewed a little while ago and asked one question that has really stuck with me, or more so my answer has.
If you could ask the women of the world one question, what would it be?
"If what you say to yourself each day could be heard by others, would you still say it?"
Right now as you read this, think about how many times already today you've spoken to yourself in a way that you wouldn't want others to hear.
Now there's nothing wrong with chatting things out loud with yourself from time-to-time though in this instance I'm referring specifically to those silent words we speak to ourselves.
You know the ones right? They often start right first thing in the morning....
You're selecting your clothes for work and catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, "fat cow, nothing ever looks good on you!"
In the office when you're prepping for a meeting and you kindly remind yourself that "you know nothing and everyone will see straight through my ideas."
Later at lunch you wonder why the 'perfect' girls at work can eat whatever they like and look like they do when "you need to stick to your diet just to look half-decent!"
Later at the gym instead of throwing yourself fully into the workout, you're distracted and say "I can't do half of what they're doing so why bother and everyone's noticing my wobbly legs anyway!"
Following this charming and positive day of both brutal words and self-loathing you then decide to ditch the stir-fry plans that you had and instead say "I'm ordering pizza - I earned it after the day I've had!"
And so the cycle continues...
I've been there and I'm going to be perfectly blunt with you here, it's a work in progress for us all. That work however, even in its' increments, has the power to change your entire world for the better.
Can you imagine approaching food without the side of body bashing and instead making positive choices to enhance your life?
How about trying on jeans without taking your old friend self-loathing into the change room with you?
Seeing others for who they are and what they offer as opposed to what they look like? That includes you...
Last year I had a pivotal moment, a sudden realisation visualising what it must be like to simply not hate your own body every single moment of the day. It seemed like Nirvana to me though at that point I couldn't do more than imagine it. Now... I get it and I live it, bit by bit.
I can tell you that the lightness and freedom that you feel even with small progress, is worth the challenge of trying this out for yourself. That you're worth the effort - each and every day.
Let's not give this a name so much or even give it too much focus - let's keep things really simple.
7 days of small steps - that's it.
- Wake up and breathe in as deeply as possible
- Smile as you breathe out
- Think of a quality that someone loves about you and dedicate the day to that quality
- Identify negative words that you say and ask yourself the question - would you speak this way if others could hear?
- Replace those words with one positive sentence
- Remind yourself of your morning dedication
- Repeat for 7 days
They say a habit takes 21 days to form (or break) so I encourage you to turn the 7 days into more... Little by little things start to stick and I'm sure you already have proven examples of that in your life, let those be your touchstone and a reminder of what's possible.
You are incredible, unique and worth loving - from within as well as from others.
Big love to you and please share with me and this loving community any progress that you've made - you never know how it could help someone else!