This July I will be getting married on Italy's Amalfi Coast surrounded by those people closest to Tippy and I.
Lucky does not even begin to describe it.
Our small and intimate party is an absolute reflection of the two of us, as all good weddings are. We have delighted in choosing a suitable (and insane villa) for the occasion, making our invites (see above photo) and completing the wedding-in-another-country-paperwork. Planning what feels right and fun for us and our loved ones has been a seriously fabulous experience since becoming engaged last August.
With all of this loveliness in the universe I almost missed the whole "I am getting married therefore need to go on a diet" idea.
Truth be known, I have had a few crappy moments when it comes to this topic. Feeling not good enough, not skinny enough, worrying about bruises on my legs (I am super clumsy!) and general all around concern that I am not enough as I am. Equally, that much change is required between now and our wedding day, presumably to take me from now to "perfect."
I speak about this often in the 3rd person as it feels most accurate. It is somewhat of an out-of-body experience to observe this negative and destructive dialogue within myself at the same time as knowing so much better than that.
Don't we all?
Despite not being a traditional bride, or feeling like one at all for that matter, I could not escape this kind of thinking. The idea that somehow I must be this vision of perfect on the day. Not for Tippy, not for our guests, not for anyone except my own analysis and my own ridiculous assessment.
Wedding, 30th birthday, school reunion; whatever the occasion I dare say you may have felt this way in the past or even right now? You have experienced this dialogue within your own head and responded in one way or the other.
I am not here to tell you that a significant life event is not important, that it isn't a wonderful opportunity to develop and strive to new heights within yourself because it absolutely is! The issue arises when such a focus is on the external, from a very negative place and worse still, when these efforts cease as the "big day" arrives.
Continual development and improvement from a place of love; even if spurred on from a pending occasion; is a far better alternative for each of us.
How do you do this especially if you are already part way through a detox cleanse/Ab-Pro program/self-loathing cycle?
I did exactly that this week and then asked myself a few questions.....
- Why is this so important to attain?
- What can I feel grateful for and instead focus on?
By no means have I perfected this approach though it has helped immensely. As well as seeing things with clarity amongst the sometimes noisy headspace, it has provided me with a soft landing place. This is incredibly powerful as now when I observe these negative thought patterns occurring, I know there is a supported place for me to focus on and one that I created.
Funnily enough making the best kinds of decisions for my overall wellbeing have happened almost of their own accord thanks to this new approach; something that our incredible bodies do intuitively when we listen to and embrace them.
This special time in my life is there to be enjoyed and experienced. I am grateful to have such a wonderful relationship with Tippy, to have our nearest and dearest joining us to celebrate that fact, to have our health, a home, burgeoning careers and that I can do chin-ups!
Isn't that a far better focus?
You are valuable, beautiful, capable and full of wonder as you are right now, reading this.
You deserve to know and feel that.
Much love to you
P.S. Pretty excited about these stunning pink peonies which we have included as part of our celebrations. Just one of the bazillion things I am grateful for...